I have four prompts in my drafts folder. 2 are dictionary definitions of things that either interest or annoy me, and the other 2 are vaguer shower/email thought prompts.
They don’t sound good to write.
I thought about writing about mothers, and the holiday yesterday. The thing is, I’ve done that? It would retread these themes: I miss my mom. I think the holiday has a tendency to encourage fictionalizing/romanticizing some relationships (and I didn’t have a wrought relationship with my mom). I am not a bio-mom for anyone. I feel weird being a step-mom/-mom-in-law to adults, and being shoved in those roles by random semi-strangers. I sometimes feel weird being a god-mom for a long host of reasons. The only mom thing I feel good about is being a cat-mom, and that’s not a socially acceptable thing.
See? Written up very succinctly.
I think I’m just feeling tired, and disgruntled, and frustrated. In part that’s likely work related. It’s also life related. Having recently bought a house, and moved, our life is only mostly settled. We still have dozens of boxes that need sorted and a small storage we haven’t moved yet. I’m not sure if I’ll be all better once that happens, or if it will just be a new thing.
This is the point where I usually remind myself that I’m privileged to be able to whine about the things I’m whining about. I have it very good, in a lot of ways. And even on days when my brain is completely fried and I feel misunderstood by everyone, I’m still doing better than I could be.
I do feel better about one major thing this weekend: after several bookshelf purchases, all of the book boxes that I know about are finally unpacked. And shelved. And even basically organized!
I may still need to unpack miscellaneous office junk. And remaining art. And random hidden boxes of clothes. But BOOKS ARE ON SHELVES WHERE I CAN FIND THEM.
Why can’t I take that success and wallow in it for a bit? I must be a glutton for punishment.
First, Happy Mother’s Day to all of you mother’s out there. And I do mean all. Step moms, adoptive moms, foster moms, god-moms, birth moms, pet moms, grandmother’s and great-grandmothers. I hope you had a good day.
I miss my own mom, and I miss my dad’s mom, and I miss my husband’s mom, even though I knew her less than 10 years. I worry about friends who have lost their moms, mom-friends who have lost their babies, and friends who had complicated (and thus negative) relationships with their moms.
I wish both Mother’s and Father’s day weren’t quite so heavily advertised. As a kid, I did love going with my dad to get my mom things though. And I liked making her things.
My babies can’t make me things, because they’re fur babies. But they can love me, and that’s honestly pretty awesome. Just being able to care for them makes me de-stress after a long day. And my sweetie brought me do-nuts for breakfast, so even as a “non-mom” in the eyes of the world, and lacking my own mother figures for one reason or another, I think it was a good day over all.
I truly hope everyone else had an awesome Sunday as well.